I had a great epiphany this past weekend about a simple, yet incredibly profound way to add to the others of those around you. 

I work at Red Dog’s Roofing as the Personal Development Advisor, and I had the honor of assembling up assessments for the middle management employees there. These assessments were not only for their benefit, but also for ours. Along with the standard questions that are usually asked at these kinds of things (Do they show up on time, work ethic, etc…), we created a survey and asked a series of questions based on how WE (upper management) were doing.

The results were surprising. The assessments were a huge success, not only because employees now knew where they stood, but so did we.

Here’s the magic part. Many employees felt heard after this. The owner and Management here have always kept a very open door for employees to voice their ideas, concerns, or opinions. But an official assessment, with the right questions, really opened the door even more. They were able to voice their opinions, their joys, their downfalls, our downfalls, and how they felt the company could do a better job supporting and growing the business more freely.

In my personal life, I was having an off day, and mentioned my mental health to a friend. I threw a little vulnerability out there, and it fell flat. He kind of gave the shoulder shrug, and proceeded to talk about something completely different. I felt as though I was completely hung out to dry.

 BUT, the good news these days, I’m able to recognize a great learning opportunity and that’s exactly how I viewed this one. His lack of empathy, and obvious dismissal of my concerns felt like a punch to the gut. Why? Because he didn’t take the time or effort to listen to me. He wasn’t willing (or perhaps able) to offer value at the moment. 

The biggest, and perhaps easiest way we can add value to the lives of others is to let them be heard. Whether listening, or asking the right questions to help that process along.

What kinds of conversations and questions should we be asking? I’m glad you asked!

Here’s a list to get you started:


  • How are you really feeling right now?

    • Invite someone to go beyond surface-level answers and share their true emotions.

  • What’s been weighing on your mind lately?

    • Give them space to open up about what’s been bothering or occupying their thoughts.

  • What do you need most in this moment? Right now?

    • Show them that you're ready to support them in whatever way they need, whether it’s a listening ear, advice, or simply company.

  • Tell me more about that—how did it make you feel?

    • Encourages people to elaborate and reflect on their emotional experience. It validates their feelings.

  • What are the hard parts of what you may be going through these days?

    • This gives them a chance to talk about struggles and allows them to express vulnerability safely.

  • Is there something you wish I would understand better about what you’re going through?

    • This shows your willingness to learn more and gain deeper insight into their perspective. Walking a mile in their shoes.

  • What are you hoping for, or what do you wish would happen?

    • This question allows them to talk about their desires, hopes, or vision for the future, giving you a better understanding of their version of success.

  • What do you need to let go of right now?

    • This question helps them identify things that might be holding them back, creating space for healing or growth. Congratulations. You’re a hero, life-coach now!

Now go out and add value to someone today!

Red Dog’s Roofing is a local, community focused roofing company based out of Fitchburg, Massachusetts, who have provided exterior remodeling solutions for generations. Their newest initiative is supplying guidance to the next generation of tradespeople by offering resources, encouragement, and solutions to make them more empowered choices in their careers and in their lives. http://www.reddogsroofing.com